Before You Date A Farmer: 10 Things You Need To Know

Less than two percent of the American population are directly involved in production agriculture (aka farming). With such a small population of farmers, it is a fact that several do not understand the farming lifestyle. I then got to thinking how several people out there really do not know what it takes to date a farmer.

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I have had friends who farm that complain about how people they date just do not get it. They do not understand the commitment farming requires or that amount of time it takes. They do not understand that it is a priority or do not get the fact that it is a lifestyle. This list can go on and on. So I, being a blogger and having a farming background, decided it was time to write a list about some things one needs to know before dating a farmer.

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Farming is more than the annoying stereotypes of overalls, pitchforks, old trucks and the overall Old McDonald picture a lot of people get in their heads. (Cannot forget about those ridiculous Farmers Only commercials!)  Let me quickly remind you that farming is what puts food on our tables at a reasonable cost. Farming is what feeds us; therefore let me be the first to say that dating a person who is responsible for helping feed you is legit. But as I said before, there are quite a few “attributes” you need to be made aware of.

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Are you prepared to date a farmer? Let’s find out…

  1. When you date a farmer, you have to realize that the farm IS the priority. If you think you are going to date a farmer and be the only important thing in his/her life, you are mistaken. You see, the farm is the livelihood and it is the farmer’s responsibility to care for it. 

  2. Farmers work hard, long hours. They work from sunrise to sunset and sometimes even longer depending on the season. (We will get to that next.) There may be days when they are not able to hang out with you or take you to dinner because they have a farm to care for. 

  3. There are certain times of the year when farmers are so busy they may not have a lot of time to spend with you. Hay season, planting season and harvest season are examples of when farmers literally work all day and most of the night. These are stressful times of the year when sleep is limited and stress is high meaning you have to be open-minded and supportive. 

  4. When you date a farmer, expect plans to suddenly change. You see, farming is not like a typical 9-5 job. It is a 24-hour a day job. Even if you have made plans, those plans can abruptly change. An animal gets sick, a tractor breaks down, fence needs fixed and the list can go on and on of similar farming emergencies that must be taken care of. Sometimes, plans are ruined, but like I mentioned before, the farm comes first. 

  5. Sometimes a night out on the town may be later than what you are used to. Where most couples go out about 5:30 or 6:00 to go to dinner and a movie, a farmer usually is not able to go until after all the chores are done. This may be annoying for some; however, this is reality. In addition, the times you celebrate holidays are all dependent on the farm and occur in between/after chore times. 

  6. Sometimes, dates may be a little different than what you are usually used to. They may be riding around in the truck checking cows and/or other livestock, checking fields to ensure they are in good health, riding in the tractor baling hay, hauling hay, cutting wood, sitting in the machine shed working on farm equipment, etc. These may not sound like dates to you, but in a farmers world, they are some of the best dates one could ask for. 

  7. When you date a farmer, there are several topics you must get used to talking about. The weather (it has a HUGE impact on farming); livestock (You hear all about animals being born, how they all are doing, and honestly, sometimes the stories you hear are not always rainbows and butterflies); tractors (You learn terminology you never even heard before and even why some colors of tractors are better than others); market prices (A farmer, just like any other person, strives to make a profit, so knowing the market trends is important); just to name a few.

  8. Here are some random things you need to know about a typical farmer and the farm life. Their farm truck is very important…never “bash” it. They usually have a dog or another animal that they are quite fond of, so do not get jealous. They are almost always willing to give their neighbors a helping hand, even if it means being late to something you had planned. They understand the importance of being frugal with money because of the risks and unpredictability of the farming lifestyle. And on the more funny side of things… You cannot be completely grossed out by animal poop, the unpleasant smells that sometimes accompanies farms, etc. 

  9. In many instances, farming is a family affair. A majority of farms are family owned and operated; therefore this should not be a surprise. With this being said, you have to be willing and able to get along with your farmer’s family, no matter what. They spend a lot of time together, so chances are, you will to. And a farmer is extremely proud of upholding their family’s tradition…

  10. Even though it may sound like a bit of a challenge/different experience to date a farmer, if you are willing to put up with their lifestyle, as well as be supportive of it, you will find it is quite an honor. This sounds cliche’, but it is true. Farmers are becoming more of a rarity and they are such a huge part of each of our lives. On the flip side, farmers, if you find a person who understands your lifestyle and are not afraid to work alongside you, you have found a keeper!

The truth of the matter is, farming is a lifestyle many are not familiar with. For some, it is quite a shock to date someone who farms due to the fact farming requires so much time, commitment and hard work. Farming is not for the faint of heart and dating a farmer does require understanding and patience.

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Coming from a farming family, having several friends who farm and personally knowing many farmers, I can honestly say that dating a farmer may not always be easy, but to the right person, it will be worth it.

Hopefully this post has served as an eye-opener for many. In addition, hopefully it has led for you farmers who are reading this to nod your head in approval or even say “YES!” out loud. And even for those of you like me who are still searching for that someone who understands the farming lifestyle, just be patient because that special someone is out there and will come into your life at just the right time. (At least that is what I have been told.)

So, if you are able to relate to this, feel free to share! Feel free to comment with your own “Before You Date a Farmer” advice. This has seriously been a fun post to write, so it is my hope you all had some fun and laughs reading it. 🙂

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Until next time…

~Ali   🙂

Brad & Gail Groves Dairy Farmers Billings, MO

Brad & Gail Groves
Dairy Farmers
Billings, MO

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Comments

  1. Reblogged this on myAGventures.

  2. I love this! This is spot on. Good job!

  3. Kacie Davis says:

    Before you date a farmer, ask yourself if you’ll be okay with finding rice, soybeans, and tractor parts in your washing machine for the rest of your life. If the answer is no, move on! 😉

  4. and they never make any money

    • No they can make millions of dollars in an hour at a livestock sale or by selling some grain, but everything profitwise must usually go back to the farm either to buy newer machinery, insurance, seed, new buildings, land, land improvements like terraces or tiling, new genetics for your herds, etc. if you looked in my dads seed she’s right now one person would see a lot of bags of seed. In reality that seed is actually worth around 4 billion dollars. But we are always “rich” even if there isn’t money in the bank. Rich in love, rich when rocking on the back porch during the sunset with your kids playing pigskin, getting fresh produce out of the garden or orchards (my grandma produces enough food for my entire 40 person close family to last a year and she cans all of it so we only buy milk and bread- and she also raises 500 pumpkins each year just to paint faces on to give to little kids), rich in breathing fresh spring air after an Iowan thunderstorm, or feeling rich in knowing that you are making a difference in the word. I am only 19, a girl, halfway through my animal science degree, but I WILL take over the family farm and I take pride in knowing that the cornfield over west of me is actually where a barn stood and where my grandfather was born and that all my ancestors that settled here would know that I am keeping their dream alive. And mine too. I struggle with how much financial burden could be placed on my shoulders but with God and my self confidence and hard work I will not fail. ❤️ with much love, Jess

  5. Maria Gaige says:

    While all of this is true, (I am a farmer’s wife) they can still make time for you and make you a priority. You just have to be flexible and know that to spend time with them – sometimes – it has to be in a tractor (which can be really fun). I grew up in New York City, and have to say that marrying a farmer was the absolute best decision of my life. I feel incredibly fortunate to be a part of something that is so rare (and will get only become even more so).

    • Ernestine McPeters says:

      I am a farmer’s kid and a farmer’s grandkid and really this blog is so true–I did not marry a farmer, however, I married an accountant, the exact opposite of a farmer you see but well worth him marrying a farmer’s kid–she is use to being frugal and doing real interesting things as a date to help the family’s budget grow healthy! My grandfather and father were dedicated to their farm and more dedicated to their families.

  6. Very well said, and applies to being married to a farmer as well. Have been dating/married to farmer for almost 45 years, and this advice is spot on. Thanks!

  7. LOL, you have to know all of the fields by name so you can drop what you are doing and run pick someone up/move a truck/take someone there or deliver a part! You need to know how to drive large trucks! You have to deliver meals to the field for them to be consumed in seconds! Deliver sweet tea in jars. You need to be able to go to the agri supply or other such store and find the right part on your own! LOL, you have to leave church in the middle of sunday school with your dress and heels on and go chase hogs that are in the neighbors fields!! The list is endless, but the reward is so sweet.

    • Martina Phelps says:

      This is exactly right! Idk how many times ive done all of these things! Been out chasing cows at 8am in a robe and muck boots in the neighbors yard! Ha ha its fun though, its exciting and different. And omg remembering the weird names of all the fields!! When we first started dating before we got married i used to struggle with this so much! He’d ask me to meet him at “tallys” with some food and drinks and i would drive to all the farms trying to find him! lol but getting to see his grateful face eat and drink after being there for hours and then getting to carry the bucket and just talk all day while he fenced was amazing! Sooo worth it! We got married after seven months and two years later were still chasing cows together only i have more of anidea what im doing!! Haha

  8. Amy Greving says:

    I am a farmer’s daughter who married a farmer, and this is SO true! Wouldn’t trade our lifestyle for the world!

  9. It’s 12:30 am my husband and son are still out combining wheat. There is rain in the forecast for tomorrow. No dates happening tonight. They also have my littlest son who is only 8 with them. No time to waste teaching him the trade too. I brought supper to the farm at 9:00 pm. Girls did the dishes till past 10:00 pm. Stress is high, money is tight, sleep is less, laughter and love is a bumper crop always. I would have it no other way.

  10. Maggie Brumyer says:

    My farmer and I spent our 2 year anniversary plowing and he spent Valentine’s day calving and fixing a tractor till 11 p.m. It is frustrating at times but the times when you do spend together is worth more than any “normal’ date.

  11. Amanda Corriher says:

    I love farmers they are good ppl good friends and neighbours make a friend with a farmer and act like you have some common sense you’ll have afriend for life you are right they work their rears off and are an important part of the countries structure without out themost everything you have on your table at supper time wouldn’t be there I’m. A 21 yr old woman living in north ga and I have what I guess you could call a micro farm and even at that it is a 24/7 job making sure all the animals are in good health getting up in the middle of the night if need be to run off bear fox stray dogs well everything you can think of and then there is always the crops that need to be tended to I don’t have a lot of time to fool around with friends but in the end it is so worth it to know that when I need something all I have to do is walk out in the yard and pick it being self sufficient is very important and gives you a sense of pride like nothing else when you’ve tilled the ground and bled and sweated over it to see these little plants grow into omething is an awesome experience everytime also I’m single so any nice young farmer men out there looking for someone who is like minded and and not afraid to roll up their sleeves and work in the dirt send me a msg at corriher70@gmail.com

  12. Bill Blake says:

    I grew up on a family farm ,my farther got killed by chopper when I was 3months old my mother raised all 13 of us on the farm dairy cows and crops we still have the farm I would,not what it any other way . I.m a deisel mech. I wish I was farming instead

  13. Michelle Zimmerschied says:

    So spot on! Love it! I’m a born and raised farm kid that married a “city kid” who’s a mechanic (which comes in really handy here on the farm). We’ve been married for 15 years, but I will NEVER forget how we spent our one year anniversary! Living on a farm, you do what you’ve gotta do. That particular day we were cleaning out the hay and cattle barn. Moving round bails and mice and rats would go flying. We had dogs and shovels going like crazy. When it was all over I just kept thinking….”here it’s our anniversary and I’m sure it’s been a one of a kind!”

  14. Love this blog! I’ve been married to my farmer for 34 years and we’re blessed to be able to work along side of each other nearly everyday. The week after we got married we put up a grain bin on our ‘honeymoon’, he gave me a wheelbarrow and a 50cc syringe one year for Christmas! I love him and I love our life, but we both work really hard. Getting away by ourselves is critical to prevent burnout, so its important to find someone to cover for you while you’re away.

  15. My boyfriend is a part time farmer with full time job…finding quality time at weekends is very tough. He knows I’m not happy at how little time he can give me and I get very frustrated. He also still lives at home so I can’t just stay over with him making things more difficult. advice welcomed.

    • Michelle says:

      My boyfriend is a full time farmer and he has very little time for me also. I love him with all my heart and I know he does try, but I’m sick of being so disappointed/frustrated when plans are changed or he is late, which is very often. I hate getting angry at him for this and making him feel bad because I know he knows no different, he too lives at home with his family who all work on the farm. I am currently sitting at home waiting for a call to say he is on the way down to me (he is having problems with calving a cow), and I’m thinking to myself, is all of this waiting around worth it? I know I havent given you any advice but it is nice to hear that there are people who have the same problems as you so I said i would reply 🙂

    • I am engaged to a farmer Long stoy But I am 65yeas. He said he might etire at 81. I think i am done. Love him but this lifestyle is way to crazy for me.

    • I am engaged to a farmer Long stoy But I am 65yeas. He said he might retire at 81. I think i am done. Love him but this lifestyle is way to crazy for me.

  16. I’m starting to see somone who is a framer he works very hard and also live with his family yes it hard sometimes but what I just think is he is working hard and doing eveything he need to do for the cow ect but just think it this way put yourself in his/her shows and see how long and stessfull it is to be honsted I didn’t realize how hard it was till I see pics and videos I thought it was like an easy job but nope it’s not but if you very care about somone who works hard for a living then a framer is right for you it’s takes time believe me but it’s all good at the End:)

  17. I’m starting to see somone who is a framer and works very hard and also live with family yes it hard sometimes but what I just think about is working hard and doing everything they need to do for the cow ect but just think it this way put yourself in his/her shoes and see how long and stessfull it is.To be honsted I didn’t realize how hard it was till I see pics and videos I thought it was like an easy job but nope it’s not but if you very care about somone who works hard for a living then a framer is right for you it’s takes time believe me but it’s all good at the End

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